Homosexuality in Classical Greece

Herodotus, Plato, Xenophon and Athenaeus are among the classical Greek writers who discussed same-gender love.  Sexual relationships between adult men existed.   In those relationships, one member of the relationship had to assume the passive role, thus flouting social convention.  The more common and socially significant form of same-gender relations was pederasty:  the relationship between an adult man and a pubescent or adolescent boy.  This age discrepancy was paralleled in the traditional marital relationship, where men in their 30s commonly took girls who were in their early teens as wives. We do not know how same-gender relations between women were regarded, but we have examples going as far back as the time of Sappho. 

Sexual orientation was not a social identifier in ancient Greece in the same way that it has been in contemporary Western society.  Greek society distinguished between the differing roles in the relationship, rather than by sexual desire or by gender.   The dominant/active/penetrator role was identified with masculinity, carried a higher social status and was associated with adulthood.  The submissive/passive/penetrated role was associated with femininity, carried a lower social status and was associated with youth.

Pederasty derives from "paiderastia" which means "boy love." A male was considered a "boy" until he was able to grow a full beard.  Paiderastia was a relationship between an adult and an adolescent male.  The adult was called “erastes,” and his role was to protect, educate, love and be a role model for the youth, who was called “eromenos.”  The erastes’ reward was the youth, beauty and promise of the eromenos. 

The origins of paiderastia are in the tribal past of Greece, before the rise of the city-state. Tribal communities organized according to age groups. When a boy "became a man," he left the tribe in the company of an older man for a period of time.  This was a rite of passage.  The older man would educate the youth in the responsibilities of adulthood.

As Greek society evolved into the polis, the rite of passage evolved into the relationship known as paiderastia. Rather than leaving the community in the company of an older man, Greek boys paired up with older men and remained in the community. The older men, like their tribal counterparts, were responsible for educating their young companions. 

Paiderastia had a courtship code. The adult courted the boy who struck his fancy.  The boy withheld before capitulating to his mentor's desires. The waiting period gave the boy time to ensure that his suitor was interested in assuming the mentor role, and was not merely pursuing him fro pleasure.  The youngest accepted age for a boy in a paiderastic relationship was twelve.  A relationship with a boy younger than that was inappropriate, yet unlike Roman society, there seems not to have been any legislation prohibiting it.  The relationship would continue until growth of the boy’s body hair was widespread, at which time he was considered an adult himself.  The period of the relationship then generally ran from age twelve until age seventeen.

It is not clear from ancient sources whether pederasty was common to throughout Greek society, or if it was limited to the upper classes.  It is known, however, that the city-states were the first to describe, study, systematize and establish pederasty as a social and educational institution, important in the military, philosophy and the arts.

The prime example of pederasty in the military is the Sacred Band of Thebes, a military unit reserved for men and their young partners.  The bond between lovers was used as a boost to their fighting spirit.  The power of Thebes before its fall to Philip of Macedonia was attributed to the Sacred Band.  Philip was so impressed with their bravery during battle that he erected a monument which still stands on their gravesite.  He criticized the Spartan view of the band:

Let those perish miserably who think that these men did or suffered anything disgraceful.

According to Plutarch, Pammenes’ opinion was:

Homer’s Nestor was not well skilled in ordering an army when he advised the Greeks to rank tribe and tribe…he should have joined lovers and their beloved.  For men of the same tribe little value one another when dangers press;  but a band cemented by friendship grounded upon love is never to be broken.

According to Plutarch, Philip of Macedon said:

It is not only the most warlike peoples, the Boeotians, Spartans and Cretans who are the most susceptible to this kind of love, but also the greatest heroes of old:  Meleager, Achilles, Aristomenes, Cimon and Epaminondas. 

The relationship between Achilles and Patroclus was thought to be one of those that boosted morale due to the desire to impress and protest the lover.  Homer does not present the relationship as sexual.  Ancient Greeks emphasized the age difference by representing Patroclus with a beard and Achilles without one.  There was disagreement on who should be the erastes and who the eromenos because while Patroclus was older, Achilles was stronger.  In Myrmidons. Aeschylus depicted Achilles as the erastes because he avenged his lover’s death even though the gods told him it would cost him his life.  In the Symposium, Plato has Phaedrus claim that Homer emphasized Achilles’ beauty which would qualify him to be the eromenos.

Relations between adult men of comparable social status were problematic because of the importance of cultivation of the masculinity of the adult male, and the perception of femininity of the passive partner.  Such relations usually carried a social stigma.  The stigma was reserved only for the passive partner.  In the paiderastic relationship, when the eromenos reached adulthood, he was supposed to change role and become an erastes.  Men who did not transition from the passive to the dominant role were perceived as feminized. 

Among the historical male couples in which both partners were adults, we find Pausanias of Athens and Agathon the poet, and the legendary love between Alexander the Great and Hephaestion.

We know little of same-gender relationships among women.  Sappho wrote many love poems addressed to women and girls.  The love is sometimes requited, sometimes not.  Sappho was the head of what is called a thiasos—a community of women in which Greek women could receive a limited education.  Sometimes girls in these communities experienced love for the women who educated them, sometimes they experienced love for  their colleagues.  Sappho writes of her love for some of her students.  

We note that in Sparta there is also documentation of pedagogic erotic relatioships, as well as athletic nudity for women.  In the Symposium, Plato refers to “women who do not care for men, but who have female attachments.”